Your commands are an annoyance,

Your whispers a chore,

Your screams are unheard of,

And I want no/more

And I’m sick from your thumps,

Your scraping and questions,

And answers to things,

You’ve crafted as weapons,

And though I may live,

An imperfect life,

At least I don’t resort,

To causing this strife.

And should I live longer,

Each way as I pass,

If you don’t repent,

You can kiss my ass.

Got it? I’m tired, you wouldn’t believe,

That I can be human,

Despite Christmas Eve.

He is a weapon

A vessel, a vehicle,

A poison, a noise,

A succulent poise,

And though I lament,

The death of it all,

I know I’ll have done it,

Or nothing at all

When all is fine,

Yet you know that it’s not.

The timebomb lurks,

In my mailbox of fear,

And though I’ve no recourse,

I avoid like it’s mere,

And surely who reads,

A mature little voice,

To say I’ve got years,

Of utter remorse.

It feels like when,

I say it over too,

To a person in time,

For twenty and a few,

It happens again,

They steal it and sell it,

Like a pure white weapon.

And I could wash and retry,

Or purely give up,

I’m getting nearer to where,

I stopped giving a fuck.

And though it’s all true,

What I’ve written here,

It’s taken a miracle,

Just to come clear.

And so whoever it is,

I hear screaming each day,

I relax you to apologize,

I did it my way.

And thoughts so invisible,

Like they draw a fine line,

Between I’m almost homeless,

After three dimes.

And solely I assure you,

I’m trying real hard,

I’ve worked pushed and faught it,

And can’t catch that break,

But maybe I will,

If we calm the lake,

The busses and cars, the trains and the planes,

The silence gets maddening,

And I know your name.

Today is the 4th, of the 11th, well when,

I succumbed over,

A dollar or then,

Wow that’s the past,

When time meets that force,

The pills that I take,

And the ensuing new wave,

The walk of a lifetime,

Just a month or two late,

And if it could be,

I’d write this once more,

I’d say that love is a virtue,

Of always needing more.

No doubt inside,

I’m truly so hiding,

A curse of the ages,

That seeds it’s residing.

And only today,

I’ll stop it in 12.

I can’t find the time,

Since sound and light do not have a fine speed,

Everything I know,

But nothing in weed.

Clearly one is twenty too, so let’s just fight it, after you dictate a time to rewind the clock to a time where it wasn’t stopped.

may now download the centre of addictions and mental health

Thank you

I came to realize

I came to realize

I came to real eyes

Ike game to real eyes.

Like game to real eyes..

Lgtre

Light reply.

That’s the voice I heard.

I heard..

I hard..

Try hard.

Try harder, if you must.

And I may.

I might..

Get the things I wish tonight..

Wish you may,

Wish you might,

Fight the things you must unite.

And so it said,

I could not undo,

A total effigy of I love you.

Now me.

Timings perfect interweave.

Of close or not at all.

Who’s you.

Maybe you need it,

But then you do not,

Maybe you sew it,

But maybe is not,

A choice that we have,

In uttered or screamed,

Leaves the retorts,

And apples and bees.

Try to do it again,

If I could just ground it,

In perfect white pen.

Why are you so downcast?

Creativity is but a tempest herald away,

May we see how you see us,

As bold and brave,

Colder to the shoulder was the serpents kiss,

Blind yet seen through a reflected tune,

Simmering below a heart so yearning and cool,

Because when time stopped sound,

It resounds so loud,

To be given anew again.

And surely the when,

Of a crumpet or horn,

Would interrupt those godly thoughts,

I would bounce back into fruition, and momentarily judge,

That I have a vicious sword,

Hilted at my side,

And a light on my tips, the fingers and so

I put it down because

There’s tomorrow

Since I’m a bartender

I invented a drink:

1 shot Tennessee whiskey

1/2 shot applejack

1 teaspoon honey

Dash of lemon juice

I write in a prayer that your legacy resides, as it does, in anyone who’s had grandmothers as strong, goodwilled, and faithful as mine.

I miss you- be at peace. For there rests a hope in the sun of man, the star of an age, and the future of our people.

It’s been so long… Since we cuddled and played

And I know I miss you everyday.

I still look for you in all the places I’ve seen you,

And double take and cry when my feed pops up our photos or a video of a cat

If I could have one thing, among many,

It would be to bring you home again.

I love you dude. Happy belated birthday.

Please pray. Some days I need those little bumps to tell me, you’re home safe somewhere and well.

You are so dearly missed friend. Maybe you’re still there somewhere, I sincerely hope we cross paths again. I’ll accept any bad luck to see you.

Sorry, it’s been a rough week.

I have a lot to be thankful for but the cat meowing in the background after I wrote this from a neighbours apartment…

Maybe… Maybe you are ok.

Simple, noble, kind – and a sign for this day,

There’s too much to want,

That I should almost want nothing at all.

Sunday I go to the foodbank in the afternoon. Sometimes gigs (I’m a bartender/server), come up during the week. The weekdays I typically spend at the career centre working to find a 4th job. Sometimes I freelance on my off hours. I volunteer when I can for impoverished or homeless people. Sometimes I visit coffee shops or wander the area on nice days. I like to stay busy, but I dislike enclosed spaces quite often – I have an affinity for nature. I would play squash, work out, or enjoy art in my free time. I’m usually low on disposable income. I live in Etobicoke near the Mimico GO station. On the lake, with it in my backyard.. I’m generally quiet until I get excited and over-talk everyone lol. Sometimes little things give me a lot of stress, but I pray and meditate amongst other things. I enjoy amiability and opportunities to do good, and I collect books, try to find time to play games, roleplay, and I make a lot of phone calls to an entourage of contacts in the GTA. When I am working a lot, sometimes I lose sleep and I’m not the best with sleep hygiene because I recently lost my best friend; a cat that I barely had time to know. And when I start to write, which I do a lot, sometimes I get carried away, write poetry, or even song. I have a blog, journal frequently, and have a low tolerance for endless waiting and especially cockroaches in my apartment; lol. Although I recently bought 15 more traps and have been working to fix that. I think my landlord likely is frustrated with me, I want to move away, and I’m not great with budgeting, but God sometimes has perfect timing to save me. I’ve seen a multitude of miraculous things happen, but I’m hard on myself and enjoy a kind ear.

I sometimes go by other names, but most people call me Matt.