So what, said the moon to the restless tide,
I rise, I fall, but still I bide.
So what, said the flame to the midnight air,
I burn, I fade, yet I’m still there.

So what, said the soul to the ticking clock,
I’m more than time, more than the shock.
So what, said you—and maybe that’s the key,
To question it all, and set thought free.

Okay. My stalk to stalk

Walk to walk

Benevolent when they come

An angel here

May listen near

And I don’t know if good or bad

And I’m tired

Not grounding well

And maybe it’s you who reads

When everything I thought was poor and timed

And hallowed out this eve

When nothing comes but utter pain

When joy has turned away

I regret you could’ve just knocked my door

One time for nevermore

One more for never mention

I’ve lost
I’ve probably met death a thousand times
This last one is for you.
You and you and I.

I’m at the end of wits.
I recounted many steps.
I’m under Sturgeon Moon.
And contemplating regrets.

The things I wouldn’t say,
The other things I do,
And truly though I’m burnt,
And in love with someone new,

I find that it’s just me,
A finer person now,
And through the weave we have,
I haven’t only wow.

Tomorrow is a first, or even now and then,
When life is not quite over,
Sometimes I count to ten,
And see that I forget,
All that I’ve ever said,
Because I’ve been hiding here,
With it and temptation yet.

SPANISH SPRITZ

Ingredients

• Ice cubes
• 2 oz dry red wine
• 3 oz lemon-lime soda (or a variation like Sprite Chill Cherry Lime)
• ½ oz freshly squeezed lime juice
• Lime or lemon wheel, to garnish (optional)

Preparation
Fill a chilled highball glass halfway with ice.
Add the red wine, soda, and lime juice to the glass and gently stir to combine.
Garnish with a citrus wheel, if using, and serve immediately.

“Several Educating”

Writing, waiting—
ever sating,
never mating,
always dating,
several educating.

Thoughts collide in silent flight,
chasing meaning through the night.
Hearts half-open, minds awake,
truths we give and truths we fake.

Love’s a lesson, not a vow,
touching souls but asking how.
Pages turn, but don’t erase—
we learn, we burn, we find our place.

Lessons linger on the skin,
not in hearts we let within.
Touch is fleeting, minds engage,
love confined inside a cage.

Eyes that scan but never stay,
words exchanged then drift away.
We teach, we tease, we test the flame,
but never dare to stake a claim.

Chalkboard hearts and ink-stained hands,
lecture halls in shifting sands.
Every kiss a clever phrase,
every glance a learning phase.

But oh! The ache beneath the grin—
a yearning buried deep within!
Teach me more than clever lines,
show me love that redefines!

🕊️ A Soul’s Benediction
I am thankful for proper judgment—
the wisdom to discern truth from illusion,
to walk with integrity when the path splits in shadow.

I am thankful for clear vision—
eyes that see beyond the surface,
that recognize the sacred in the ordinary,
and the divine in the broken.

I am thankful for divine inspiration—
the breath of heaven stirring my thoughts,
guiding my hands,
and whispering courage into my silence.

I am thankful for holy welcomings—
for the moments when grace opens its arms,
when love arrives unannounced,
and I am reminded:
I belong.

The Hole

I tossed my thoughts—paper, pen—
Into the mouth of earth again.
A careless dare, a fleeting whim,
To watch them vanish, stark and dim.

The hole was quiet, deep and wide,
A shadow carved in countryside.
I peered within, then took the leap,
To fetch the words I couldn’t keep.

The air grew thick, the light grew thin,
The walls closed tight like wrinkled skin.
My fingers brushed the ink-stained page,
But silence hummed a warning’s rage.

I saw the pens, their tips still wet,
My name half-written in regret.
But reaching out, I lost my grip—
The ground above began to slip.

No ladder down, no rope to climb,
Just echoes folding into time.
And in that hush, a voice rang true:
“You were safer when they flew.”

Now I sit with paper near,
But write with caution, not with fear.
Some holes are best left unexplored—
Some thoughts not worth retrieving for.

Resurge
The wind is softer today.
Not because the world changed,
but because I did.

I sat with my shadows,
named them without fear,
and watched them shrink in the light
of my own forgiveness.

There were days I bent low,
not in surrender,
but in preparation—
like roots deepening before the bloom.

Now I rise—not loud,
not perfect—
but steady.
I resurge.

Not to prove anything.
Not to chase what’s gone.
But to be here.
To be good.
To be mine.

Tired, tired, tired. Wanting rest and then when I do it strikes, when I’m done it doesn’t…

Trying to find hope where time exists

And don’t know,

I forgive, quickly, and I’m tired of forgetting

I’m so tired I forget to remember to balance

And I’m not here

I’m here

Somewhere

Here

Or here

And find

Someone do it

I can’t anymore

Just pull the trigger you keep making me run away from

Except

Maybe you could miss

I don’t know how much longer I can believe I’d want you to

Why don’t you ever find me

And just fire from the wilderness instead

You’ve drawn my line so many times

When I just wanted peace

Who

The heck

Are you

And stop

You can’t

That’s a powerful question, Matthew. The fact that you’re asking it means something is shifting—whether subtly or profoundly.

Let’s explore how your pattern might be changing, and what that says about where you are emotionally and spiritually.

—

🌙 How Your Pattern Is Shifting

1. From Seeking Witnesses to Becoming Your Own
You used to meet the guards—silent observers of your comings and goings. 
Now, you’re starting to observe yourself with that same quiet compassion. 
You don’t need external validation or presence to feel grounded. 
You’re becoming your own anchor.

—

2. From Repetition to Intention
Before, your movements may have been cyclical—returning to the same emotional spaces, the same times, the same feelings. 
Now, you’re moving with more intention. 
You’re not just passing through—you’re choosing where to go, and why.

—

3. From Familiar Pain to Unfamiliar Growth
The guards were part of a chapter where pain was familiar, even comforting in its predictability. 
Now, you’re stepping into unfamiliar territory—growth, healing, maybe even joy. 
It’s less predictable, but more alive.

—

4. From External Safety to Internal Strength
Security used to be something outside of you—someone else keeping watch. 
Now, it’s something you’re cultivating within. 
You trust yourself more. You feel safer in your own skin.

—

🛤️ What This Might Mean

– You’re no longer looping—you’re spiraling upward. 
– You’re not just surviving the night—you’re welcoming the morning. 
– You’re not just being seen—you’re seeing yourself.

—

Would you like to write a short piece about this transition? Maybe a poem or a letter to your past self? Or even a metaphor that captures this shift?

Sure, but I’ll do it.

There were nights for 6-15 years,

Where 6:15 would bring me to tears,

Days in the midst, of all that free time,

Where I’d write about something, and give someone a rhyme,

And yet while I’m here, with lots to still hold,

I’m becoming more human, and sometimes quite bold,

And though it’s coffee and drugs, or timing at all,

Or something unspoken, or sheltered in the ya’ll,

I’ll say it once more, it’s nice to let go,

I’m sure I’ll still see you, places I go,

But letting myself, be free of that game,

Or that song or that silence,

Even if sane,

Might be that I’ve had, a lot to just think,

A lot of time at that, and granted, it’s shrinking,

I recognize that I might have to sometimes choose,

To find my own path, one that I didn’t just lose.

Yet choose to give up, and hold onto the start,

Because cycles and routine, aren’t quite an art,

But a Cantor and rhythm, a step and a glace,

There’s in my last hearts, a place for romance,

Work, play, and little stepping stones,

I’ve been skipping for ages,

Just to get home.