But I didn’t die.

Happy birthday, happy new years, happy Valentine’s, happy St Patrick’s Day, happy Easter, happy

We all go through these moods,

Where we sit alone,

Wondering maybe,

If we’ve chosen the right tone,

And grace lives among us,

And I’ve got an edge,

A knife to my throat,

Proverbially dead,

I’m not suicidal,

I forgive us for that,

I’m not going home,

At least not just yet,

I be a little double minded,

Thinking once and then over,

I said what I said,

And I’m sure it’s not sober,

But yet truly there’s space,

To read in between,

That I love something,

Been more than I’ve seen,

It’s like I have a trick,

And multiple angles,

And sorry I said,

If I have to say it,

Michael Sheri Snaha Kurt, Landon Patty Shizod Linda, Beth and Nebeil, Tenzin Shane, Kayla Terrance Marta Ziggy, then there’s Martin, Kevin, Andrew, Kate, then the girl who chooses fate, then the one who does it over, then the silent train it’s over.

These are the people who, always stopped to think of you, and then there’s all the other voices, my family, dates and little choices, in the end there’s dozens others, but sometimes there’s just nuisance wanderers, the people that live around us too, like Greg and Rad, Roger Sue, Mary Destiny, the other Matt, Mark and Ruben, Michael 2, some many others, truly true, so many people, I have tried, maybe used, maybe lied, to keep me on this path I’ve walked, to get me back on solid ground, to keep me going, though I avoided, that I’m thankful for, that don’t they know it, and I know that I’m forgetting one, because she shows up when I’m done, the thousand others, from the calls, the gamer dudes, and gamer gals, the stomps the patters, the clicks and fridges, the doors especially, and lights that dimmer, the steps on stairs, the passing cars, don’t forget all those streetcars, the CSRs, the waves and wind, the many stars. And yes I did.

I have been thankful for many things, they all do play a role with wings; some are red, some are blue, some are purple and some not new, some are clear like I have tried, but in the end I cannot hide, that I’ve got something else in store, tonight’s not the night I meet death’s door – but if I do, Vanessa’s probably there, the second one mainly (four? Not fair!), because maybe she doesn’t know how hard, it is to track someone, just to obey and ignore.

Take it as a compliment, your privacy, was quite well meant.