Deciphering

Trying to make sense of my own code is like walking around making figure eights in your parents house going crazy trying to figure out where and why, how and when there even was a code in the first place. Who can break it is the mystery, and then, what to do with it?

This life has been so cyclical, unchanging, yet profound. I’ve seen the strangest phenomenons, the most repetitive at times, superfluous or even kinda mundane too.

We need to mature quickly, yet age slowly. To grow, yet to stop and resist. Why is usually my first question, and then what, where, when, but how usually, but not always eludes me without the graces of the powers at be.

I’m still turning out to be the same guy, even now.  I don’t know how to beat it, crack it, or make sense of these things, but yet, there’s a subtle comfort in them and the lack thereof or with them.

So what to do? I can’t get out of trouble when I was borrowing it, stop borrowing time when it was infinite, and am infinitely in a despair over the situation. I think my dad always puts it best. If you can’t fix it, don’t worry. If you can fix it, also don’t worry. Do we always have this option? Surely not, because of the game and games of life. Today though, I’m just going to do it. I’ve saught, I’ve gotten basically nowhere, at least quickly, so today, I’m not going to worry. The graces of human nature are there, and I can win a little once in a while, even when I don’t know who or what or why I’m trying to win.

I guess that’s all I can say. If you continue on you’ll see my mind at ease, in turmoil, in thanksgiving, in praise. It’s just a story. And today is yet unwritten.