Don’t weave

You go insane trying to figure it out.

After a while it’s too hard

Then you overthink a while

And nobody returns an ask

Nobody to call

Nobody to save

I’ve given up

As usual

And then I smoke

Because I stress

Because I’m the only one

Who hasn’t figured it out

It’s too late

I’m near the end

Yet I’ll do it anyway

You interrupt my peace

When I finally settle down

Therapy really wasnt good.

I can’t control a frown

I’m scared can’t make decisions

I’m still at ease

It wanders in and out.

And no matter what I do today

It’s always round about

There’s people really rooting for me. And I owe them all. A good living, hard work, and probably some cash. I don’t know why they do it, or how they have maintained, but I believe in them, even when I feign. Somehow I’ll get through, each day at a time, and while we can’t be perfect, sometimes we can be fine.

And if one of you has read my blog today, I know my silence isn’t perfect, or even what I say. Yet I still hold on to hope, that I can figure out, why each day I don’t feel frightened, though I should have probably have had a heart attack. But maybe it’s above, maybe I’ve written it out. Maybe somehow you’re faithful, despite that I’ve smoked it out. And when I finally can, become that honest man (again, or when), then somehow I’ll pay it forward, because you make me believe I can. If I shouldn’t owe, your graces I admire, I try my best to think, of ways not to conspire, or to do something to hurt you, I truly know that’s true, but like I’ve said above, it’s really hard to do.

And if talk is cheap I know, that I can never say, that even if you’ve hurt me, it’s just because I’ve probably had a bad day. There are good people out there, I know we are a team, and if you’re really watching, I’m trying the regime. To not do it at all, to wonder for some wisdom, is to say we’re not alive, because it’s merely twisted. And I’m saying it a little back, that maybe weaving ain’t so bad, it’s just sometimes I have thoughts that I don’t know I even had. I just encourage you, to do your God damn best, because life is just a journey, not another bloody test. 🙂